BeachBumSk8r

New account, but I’m not new here. I’ve been gooning to all the wonderful content this site has to offer since 2008. There’s literally people on here now who were just being born when I created my first account. That’s insane to think about! Anyway, I had problems with my original account (Sk8rkid) that couldn’t be fixed, so I had to create this one. I lost a ton of content because of that. I’m still pissed I had to reset my “days on xHamster” counter. I was well past 6,000 days.

Yes, my nickname really is Penny. If you want to know my personality, I've been told I'm a male version of her from the show "The Big Bang Theory" because I'm goofy, silly, forgetful, dress slutty, try to use big words but just end up screwing it up, love to laugh, eat a lot of pizza and Chinese food, love my iPhone, love to shop then wonder where all my money goes, always horny (especially when buzzed or drunk) and don't take anything seriously. Life's too short for that crap. I'm also a "little" ditzy and gullible, the way some people might describe a "dumb blonde" or as Sheldon in the show puts it: "a blonde monkey." Oh, and I'm neurodivergent, somewhat OCD and probably a little on the spectrum. But I'm GenX, so I couldn't tell ya for sure. None of those terms existed when I was growing up. And even if they did, my parents wouldn't use them. They'd still call me "different," "strange," "weird," or "quirky." Tough love. You're fine. Wash it off. It'll buff out. Quit being a baby. But did you die? The 70's-90's were the best times, I promise you. Born after 1999? Sorry, but you're part of the worst <PERIOD> generation <PERIOD> EVER <PERIOD> And yes, I stole that from "News Room" If you want to hear the rest of what I consider one of the best speeches ever, just Youtube "News Room opening scene."

So yea, "The Big Bang Theory" and "News Room" are some of my favorite shows. I also love shows like, "How I Met Your Mother,' "Friends," "Young Sheldon," "Stranger Things," "Lucifer," "Law & Order," "Dateline," "Ghost Adventures," "The Dead Files," and various true crime shows.

I masturbate to porn, a LOT. All my life I’ve had an unhealthy addiction to porn and masturbation and that has had a lasting impact on me and my ability to hold down a relationship for long periods of time. My longest one was five and a half years. I blame it on the 23 year old man who took my virginity back in the 1980’s. Or not meeting the right people. But it's probably the first thing.

I was a “rink rat.” Someone who calls a skating rink their second home. Basically someone who is there all the time other than to shower and sleep. I was part of a big group of rink rats back in the 80’s and 90’s, and this guy was one of the managers there. I guess I was just cute enough to catch his eye. We spent the next several years together because I was too embarrassed to tell anyone what he was doing to me. Plus, I was kinda having fun with it. And that’s pretty much when my porn, masturbation, cross dressing and sex addiction began. So I, by no means, had a “normal” upbringing.

If you want to know more, just send me a DM. As a porn and masturbation addict, you can imagine I’m on here quite a bit, so I’m usually fairly quick to respond.